Ten of Eyes

// paranoia, hypervigilance, implied transphobia

No one could ever mistake a doll for a person. No matter how you try to disguise yourself, they’ll always–

Are they staring? Your eyes dart momentarily down the aisle. Confusion. Disgust. Typical. You sigh behind your mask, quickly picking up a box of cereal and hurrying off.

A doll’s clockwork motions are of course, only a simulation of a re–FUCK OFF. 

A woman sneers at you while you look at soup. You wanted this. Why won’t they stop fucking staring? Cold shame feels like a knot in your sinuses. You’re so lonely. Do you miss her yet?

The boy behind the register gives you an unimpressed look as your card declines again. A line is forming behind you as you check your balance and tally up the total. Sorrow. Shame. Loneliness. Everyone’s getting annoyed. 

Do you really think a thing like you can be a person?

You sort out payment, all friendly and apologetic, and flee the store into the summer light and heat. Your shaking hands are fumbling a cigarette out as soon as you clear the threshold. 

You meant to kick the habit after leaving. 

You didn’t. It reminds you of her. 

Pathetic.

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