// paranoia, hypervigilance, implied transphobia
No one could ever mistake a doll for a person. No matter how you try to disguise yourself, they’ll always–
Are they staring? Your eyes dart momentarily down the aisle. Confusion. Disgust. Typical. You sigh behind your mask, quickly picking up a box of cereal and hurrying off.
A doll’s clockwork motions are of course, only a simulation of a re–FUCK OFF.
A woman sneers at you while you look at soup. You wanted this. Why won’t they stop fucking staring? Cold shame feels like a knot in your sinuses. You’re so lonely. Do you miss her yet?
The boy behind the register gives you an unimpressed look as your card declines again. A line is forming behind you as you check your balance and tally up the total. Sorrow. Shame. Loneliness. Everyone’s getting annoyed.
Do you really think a thing like you can be a person?
You sort out payment, all friendly and apologetic, and flee the store into the summer light and heat. Your shaking hands are fumbling a cigarette out as soon as you clear the threshold.
You meant to kick the habit after leaving.
You didn’t. It reminds you of her.
Pathetic.