Most Manipulation is Unconscious

When you make your emotional stability, mental development, psychological well-being, sexual satisfaction, or sense of identity contingent upon the acceptance, approval, affection, or support of a particular person or persons you are practicing a form of emotional blackmail. Even if you aren’t consciously trying to manipulate people, all actions have intent. Some part of you is choosing to make your stability dependent on the other person as a way to coerce intimacy out of them. This is very unhealthy behavior, everyone needs people in their lives but no one needs any specific person and requiring a specific person to meet your needs isn’t a healthy thing for either of you. The only person ultimately responsible for your mental well-being is you, and further, by making your mental well-being dependent upon someone else, you are practicing learned helplessness and failing to use your own power to improve yourself.

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